We upperclassmen at the Augur Bit know that being a freshman can be stressful. And scary! So to ease any worry, two of our staff writers sat down with an anonymous incoming freshman and answered their most pressing questions. Q: I heard the seniors throw condoms during the run-in. I don’t even know what a condom is! A: This is not a question. Q: Does the administration force you to juul or is that a rumor? A: Don’t be ridiculous! The administration doesn’t force you to juul, they just encourage it! If you present your student ID card to Kelly
As we usher in the 2018-19 school year, we should all keep in mind the guidelines of formatting an all-school email. Seeing as many of them will inevitably be sent, we here at The Augur Bit have created a five-step solution to ensure that our readers will be able to create the most effective all-school email. Step 1: Choosing a topic This is the step that happens before composing the email and is the most important. Whether you’ve lost your favorite water bottle, your bubbe’s ring that she smuggled through Ellis Island, or your dignity, you’ll probably want to send
When people thought of the members of the non-male affinity group, FMG, one common attribute came to mind: they were all female-identifying. Now, one brave student is starting to change that. Brian Lansburgh (‘20) is the first man to lead an all female-identifying affinity group, shattering the glass floor. At first, many members of the group were hesitant about letting a man into an all-female space; however, they say they’ve come to appreciate Brian’s presence. “Sometimes our female brains get so twisted in knots that we just can’t seem to focus. Brian really knows what us girls want,” said junior
School been getting you down lately? Well, check out this week’s horoscopes to see how our psychics at the Augur Bit can help facilitate your future decisions. Taurus: Did you recently spend all of your allowance money on Ubering to the Friendship Heights Starbucks, Taurus? Well, maybe only Uber to Coffee Nature. It’s much quicker and a little cheaper of a ride. Support local businesses! Gemini: Gemini, get off your Pamplemousse La Croix-drinking tuchus and get a job! We’re worried sick about you back at the farm! Pisces: You’re not like other girls! You ordered Shane Stant to take out
By Shonali Palacios ’19
Every Friday from 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm, I designate time in my busy schedule to view the hit NBC show, American Ninja Warrior. On this show, contestants compete to climb Mount Midoriyama, a mountain composed of assorted physical challenges, for a prize of $500,000. As I watched a rerun of the second part of the Denver qualifying challenge that originally aired last October, I noticed something quite peculiar about the popular program: there were no Georgetown Day School contestants on the show. Now, there are only two ways that this atrocity could have come to pass; either by the
With the publication of Michael Wolff’s new book, Fire and Fury, the public received a window into the administration of Donald Trump. It shocked readers, and gave a wild insight into how the nation is run. The young journalists at The Augur Bit were inspired to do the same: this is our tell-all article exposing the secrets of the administration of the Georgetown Day High School. Relying on hidden microphones and unnamed sources, we journalists are providing our trusted readers with information we think the public needs to know. The details, in the opinion of this journalist, are truly shocking.
Throughout history, humankind has been challenged by a number of age-old questions. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Why do bad things happen to good people? Is there a God? But no question is as trivial, as controversial, or as provoking as to whether a hot dog should be classified as a sandwich. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines a sandwich as: “two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between.” On the surface, it seems that Merriam-Webster would consider hot dogs to be sandwiches, as they are classically served as a grilled cylindrical piece
Juuling has taken the GDS administration by storm and students want in on the action. A juul, as defined by Urban Dictionary, is a small godly device that “gives u the best buzzes of your life.” As it turns out, the GDS faculty has been taking quick hits off the juul all first quarter. Quinn Killy confirmed these juuling accusations by officially declaring GDS a safe space for juuling. “You will not be expelled for juuling on the GDS campus,”he declared at his pro-Juuling rally. After Quinn’s “assembly”, Chris Levy created the “Don’t Juul if you aren’t Cuul” campaign. Juul