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Cooking During Quarantine With An Inept and Bumbling “Chef”

What do fire alarms, ruined pans, a butter container with a hole burnt into it and some regurgitated bread have in common? Well, you could find all of them in my kitchen on March 26. So far, I’ve spent my quarantine being unproductive and eating unhealthy desserts that I found at Safeway. But today, I decided to make a change.  I continued to eat unhealthy desserts, but in a safe way: by staying home. I, Aidan Kohn-Murphy, an inept and bumbling chef, would attempt to bake and cook for myself.  Throughout my culinary journey, I failed, struggled and failed again.

Dear Abby

Abby Murphy '20 and Abby Brickman '20 answer your questions
in the format of the 50's advice column, Dear Abby.

Wawawonderful

Features editors Abby Brickman '20 and Mica Maltzman '20 learn the secrets of Tenleytown's new Wawa in this comedy article.

GDS Holiday Carols

(To the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer) You know C.A. and Chrissy and Katie and Bobby, Catherine and Kevin and Laura and Kelly But do you recall The most famous admin of all? Quinny the dean of school life, had a very special job (it was real obscure) And if you never saw him, it might seem a little odd All of the other admins, used to laugh and call him names, (like “Chris Levy”!) They never let poor Quinny Play in First Friday games (like the speed walk contest!) Then one drawn out December’s day, Russell came

Can We Guess Which DCUrbanMom You Are Based On Your Zodiac Sign?

Cancer Margaret. Your DD (Darling Daughter) goes to Sidwell, and you want everyone to know. You just adore the Quaker spirit and the presence of seven tennis courts. Maret and GDS are mediocre institutions, and the world should know. Taurus Natalie. You are stone cold. You don’t take no for an answer, nor do you take yes for an answer. If the school crossing guard even glances at you, you WILL drive your black Range Rover into the school AND get him fired. Sagitarius Jackie Blank. Your son co-runs the school newspaper and you’re so proud! Aquarius Rachel (pronounced Raquel).

How Bernie Could Still Win

Everybody knows the 2016 election was a tumultuous one. Families were split in heated debates, friendships were destroyed, and relationships were ended. Whether you sported your MAGA hat, your “I’m With Her” bumper sticker, your Jill Stein S’well bottle, or your Gary Johnson male fragrance, it’s clear that everyone was invested in this election. Now that we’ve experienced the first two years of the Trump presidency, many believe that the 2016 election is over, and its results are irreversible. Some wonder what a Clinton presidency would look like right now. Others wonder about their hero Bernie Sanders, and what America

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