With the publication of Michael Wolff’s new book, Fire and Fury, the public received a window into the administration of Donald Trump. It shocked readers, and gave a wild insight into how the nation is run. The young journalists at The Augur Bit were inspired to do the same: this is our tell-all article exposing the secrets of the administration of the Georgetown Day High School. Relying on hidden microphones and unnamed sources, we journalists are providing our trusted readers with information we think the public needs to know. The details, in the opinion of this journalist, are truly shocking.
Throughout history, humankind has been challenged by a number of age-old questions. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Why do bad things happen to good people? Is there a God? But no question is as trivial, as controversial, or as provoking as to whether a hot dog should be classified as a sandwich. Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines a sandwich as: “two or more slices of bread or a split roll having a filling in between.” On the surface, it seems that Merriam-Webster would consider hot dogs to be sandwiches, as they are classically served as a grilled cylindrical piece
Juuling has taken the GDS administration by storm and students want in on the action. A juul, as defined by Urban Dictionary, is a small godly device that “gives u the best buzzes of your life.” As it turns out, the GDS faculty has been taking quick hits off the juul all first quarter. Quinn Killy confirmed these juuling accusations by officially declaring GDS a safe space for juuling. “You will not be expelled for juuling on the GDS campus,”he declared at his pro-Juuling rally. After Quinn’s “assembly”, Chris Levy created the “Don’t Juul if you aren’t Cuul” campaign. Juul