EJ Joseph '21 gives some advice to the Class of '24.
Are your neighbors being annoying? Do you want them to just leave you the FiretrUCK alone? Stand at your window with your loudest speaker and blast coughing noises all night. Not only will this prevent any awkward small talk from six feet apart, but it will also give you the coolest nickname on the block: Patient Zero. Protest the stay-at-home order claiming, “I cured my corona by injecting disinfectant into my lungs.” ZOOM Quiplash with the fam. Seems like a good idea, but your mom will never see you the same. Put a fork in the electrical socket because I
If you’ve been on Instagram or Snapchat in the past few weeks, I’m sure you’ve seen some of those hilarious bingo boards that people have been posting on their stories! Here at the Augur Bit, we wanted to create a few more bingos to keep you entertained during this trying time! I was scrolling through Snapchat the other day when I found a hilarious bingo called “Crackhead Bingo.” I thought it was absolutely hilarious! I have SUCH crackhead energy, so I instantly related. Unfortunately, I didn’t think the bingo board incorporated all aspects of being a crackhead, so I made
On April 24, the liberal Fake News Media (or Pee-dia, as I call it) reported that our fearless President Trump suggested that Americans should “inject” themselves with disinfectants such as Lysol, Purell and Clorox to protect themselves from the “coronavirus.” But just like always, the lame stream media was LYING. At a press conference on the 24th, the best president of all time said: “I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning? Because you see it