Ten Quarantine Activities 10/10 would NOT Recommend

  1. Are your neighbors being annoying? Do you want them to just leave you the FiretrUCK alone? Stand at your window with your loudest speaker and blast coughing noises all night. Not only will this prevent any awkward small talk from six feet apart, but it will also give you the coolest nickname on the block: Patient Zero.
  2. Protest the stay-at-home order claiming, “I cured my corona by injecting disinfectant into my lungs.”
  3. ZOOM
  4. Quiplash with the fam. Seems like a good idea, but your mom will never see you the same.
  5. Put a fork in the electrical socket because I have to see it to believe it.
  6. Use your dad’s razor to give your dog a Joe Exotic style mullet.
  7. Meet up with the guy you met from FarmersOnly.com because he seemed down to earth.
  8. Eat a raw egg just to “feel something again.”
  9. See how long you can go without shaving. The Amazon is growing back and so should you.
  10. Perfect your Tiktok dances during AP Bio because what is life anymore. Sorry Vinay…