On April 2, junior Natalia Freedman emailed the junior class a slideshow for students to insert pictures of their prom outfits in order to avoid any two people wearing the same thing. When I first opened the email, many people had already inserted pictures of the dresses they were planning to wear to prom.
Upon reflecting on the slideshow, I have realized that it is a manifestation of much bigger gender-related prom issues that impact GDS. Prom brings up two main issues: the slideshow, which encourages students to wear the same type of dresses, and the expectation that juniors wear short dresses and seniors wear long dresses.
GDS’ statement of inclusion says, “We commit to being a school where students, faculty, staff, families and alumni feel respected and valued for being their full authentic selves.” However, the very premise of the slideshow directly conflicts with authenticity. Many of my friends have said that they cannot wear the dresses they want because other people have already posted them in the slideshow. By discouraging outfit overlapping, the slideshow also discourages students from dressing authentically.
The focus on dress length and style is directly tied to gender norms. As junior Alessandro Alfandari put it, “For girls, the slideshow and the dresses are very important, whereas guys’ outfits are minor—the prom itself is the main event.” His point is that as a community, we put so much stress on girls’ appearances and almost none on guys’, and we, therefore, create norms of conformity specifically for girls.
“Every year someone (often an SSC rep) sends out a Google Slide show so people can post their prom dresses or special suits,” Freedman said in the email that contained the slideshow. By mentioning the Student Staff Council (SSC), Freedman made clear she was writing in her capacity as an SSC representative rather than as an ordinary student. Because of the connection to SSC, I felt like it was an official email from the group—a body that is supposed to represent students. I do not think that SSC should take part in perpetuating gender-based norms about dress lengths and styles.
Freedman is an Opinions editor for the Bit and declined a request for comment. She was not involved in the editing or publication of this article.
Junior Maya Raza is planning to wear a sari to prom. The slideshow “makes people who want to wear cultural clothing feel like they are stepping outside of a binary,” she said. The binary Raza is referring to is that as a junior girl, people expected you to wear a tight short dress and as a guy, you are expected to wear a suit. Although she is choosing to not follow the social norm that juniors should wear short dresses, many students feel like they have to. The slides only contribute to the “binary” because they encourage students who wear dresses to pick ones similar to other people’s. Although the purpose of the slideshow is to make sure people do not wear the same outfit, almost every one of the 40+ dresses on the slideshow is a similar length and style. Almost anyone looking at these dresses would feel as though this was the only acceptable type of dress to wear.
Another prom-related norm is the expectation for juniors to wear short dresses. Lots of students I’ve talked to say that the slideshow forces them to adhere to a trend of wearing short, tight dresses. When they see dresses in the slideshow, they feel like they need to wear ones with the same style and length. Junior Layla Coyne said that she does not feel comfortable wearing short dresses—a sentiment that many GDS students share. The slideshow encourages students to fit into norms and limits what they can wear—possibly stopping them from wearing what is most comfortable for them.
Senior Max Stumpf said the expectation to wear short dresses is “restrictive in a way I haven’t seen GDS students be. It’s the kind of thing I expect from my Christian middle school with a strict dress code, not here.” Although it is difficult to completely change social norms about dress length, the slideshow only perpetuates the idea that juniors must wear short dresses.
Students should address these gender-related issues—dress length and style—in the context of prom by thinking critically about how these issues show up at GDS. Students should wear dresses at whatever length they want, and I hope that the slideshow, which enforces these problematic ideas, will not be sent out again. GDS prides itself on being a community that fosters authenticity, diversity and inclusivity; encouraging restrictions on dresses challenges our community values.